Is Nothing! The Same As Nothing? (And What Did Elijah Find In The Basement?)

We start by avowing that this presentation has nothing to do with a basement, and very little to do with Elijah even though both are in the title. And no, it's not a sneaky way of tricking you into reading more words. These things just happen to writers sometimes - their characters take over. Usually it's nothing! if not entertaining.  The semantic search sometimes reveals itself to be wild and uncontrollable.

Today we're here to discuss another crucial yet insane (in a good way) topic related to our quest to learn about the "nothing!" searches as we contrive yet another brilliant experiment attempting to prove something about nothing!  Even though something has nothing to do with nothing!

Yet, it could actually turn out to be something positive about nothing, and that would prove that nothing is actually something, even while we know it's really nothing!  And through the detritus of confusion, arose the rampant realization that all this nothing stuff might actually be real news, not propaganda, but real news-worthy news that really should no longer be ignored regardless of how easy that would be.

So, yes, this nothing information was real news and nothing could keep it from him, and so when Elijah finally realized it, he had to stop to contemplate only for a very brief moment before doing nothing!  And in line with the overuse of exclamation points he declared, in a loud voice, "Nothing! Nothing! Nothing!" in anticipation of a reward that never came in spite of a favorable keyword density. And it was clearly the indexing that triggered the first explosion of cloaks and proxy hacks.

The blood banks were as empty as the search results when the first victims of the blowup arrived. So the seo paramedics had no choice but to put out an emergency call asking the public to donate their PR.

And the PR wasn't a press release.  Nor was it Puerto Rico.  Nor price reduction.  Nor promotion.  No, the PR aimed at this page was nothing but PageRank disguised as an Albanian magician pulling rabbits out of a black hat while chanting over and over, "Matt Cutts and I don't."

The enterprise seo gods laughed out loud until their whiskers got tangled in their long tails and when asked what could be funnier, we all instinctively knew the answer:

Nothing! 

Nothing at all!